A tiny perfect place in hell

I met Steven 2 years ago. I fell for his charms and his humor, and he felt for mine. His friends didn’t like me because I was just a girl. Not populair, not the most gorgeous woman or what so ever. Eventhough we had lots of things in common, we never really started dating. Partly because of his insecurities and the judgements of his friends, and partly because I was to affraid to love - or be loved. We still kept in touch, and we grow stronger and stronger together. But since we never really went out, nothing happend between us, besides long midnight conversations and distant flirts. I still liked him, but I was affraid. I still don’t know why though. He knew I liked him, and vice versa. After a while I went on a date with another dude, but Steven was still on my mind. He started to date someone as well, they ended up in a relationship that lasted for a year. Troughout that year, we had more contact then we used to have. He told me that he loved me, but didn’t want to lose her. It killed me from the inside out. ‘I was good, but not good enough,’ and so on. I never showed him how I really felt about his relationship and his feelings towards me. He even told me how she used to bitch about everything, and never showed respect towards him. My friends told me to forget him, because he did me more wrong then good. Somehow they were right, ofcourse. Obviously I was to blind to see this. He told me that he was unhappy with his relationship, and how much he wanted her to change. The flirting and talking continued. Ofcourse I knew that it wasn’t right but still I tried to get him away from her, so I could have him for myself. After a few months I got into a relationship with someone. Steven did not like this at all. The relationship that I had with this guy wasn’t quite brilliant though, so it didn’t take long for us to fall apart. It’s a long and boring story. Eventually he had the guts to break op with the other girl, eventhough he doesn’t like separation or what so ever, he seemed relieved. He regrets the fact that he didn’t broke up earlier. After a few weeks he asked if I wanted to go out, just to have a drink. We had the most wonderfull time. Not very long after that he asked me to go on a official date. He took me out for diner and the cinema. This afternoon he told me how much he hated himself for the pain that he caused me, the waiting, the tears and the mixed feelings. I told him that he was worth the wait, and that I would re-do it all. So now we are kind of together, after 2 long long years. If I had listened to my friends, who told me to give up, I would never had this oppertunity. Eventhough he seems like a bad guy, in the way I’m telling this, I surely know he isn’t. I’m so happy that I never gave up.

Gimme more Gimme more Gimme more!

Me and my best friend tempted suicide together. Not like we actually did it, we planned it. In diverent ways, weird ways, even fun ways. Eventhough the outside world thought that we were joking (partly, we were), I knew that there was a little desire to die. A desire that’s been bugging us for months now.